I feel like telling a little story this morning. Just to torture someone near and dear to me, My Masochistic sister L.
As a child L had a fish tank in her room. I can't remember what type of fish she started with, perhaps this is because she went through so damn many. She had a good sized tank and could fit a number of fish it in.
One particular type of fish was long and thin and dark. Sort of reminded me of anchovies, for some reason. Looking back now, that fact makes sense. She watched and fed the fish, and one Day she realized that the school looked a little smaller. Hmm....1,2,3,4,5,6,7....Where was #8? How bizarre! We looked and looked and could not figure out where this fish had magically disappeared to. My parents were baffled. Cannibals? No, that couldn't be. A few days go by, and the fish were still disappearing occasionally. Odd. Finally, a few weeks later, there were NO FISH. How had the last once disappear? Poor kid. We had no other pets. Possibly a Husky around that time, but he stayed outside.
One day, my Mom walks into my sister room and realized it stunk!!! She looks and can't find anything. Now, the fish tank was still running, so it was clean and ready for the next round of fish. My Mother finally pulls out the dresser that the fish tank is on, and there lying on the floor are 8 fish. 8 dried, nasty fish. 8 very suicidal fish. My sister was now classified as a official fish killer. Killing them by making them so miserable, that they committed a double suicide by jumping out the back of the tank to a slow miserable, air gasping death.
Over the years, she has other fish. they don't last long. I've come to believe that she's either A) A Crazy Fish Killer, or B)She is determined to keep fish alive, if it kills her. I prefer to think of the latter.
My Mother on the other hand, had gotten a Beta (Japanese fighting fish). They don't usually last very long. My mother's lasted for years. This winter my parents went on a 10 day cruise and asked my sister to feed and check on the fish.
The last time they left my sister to take care of an animal while they were away, It died. Our adorable (very old) rabbit. Agador Sparticus, was his name. My sister calls me from the house and claims to have found a stiff-as-a-board-rabbit. I wasn't surprised.
Onto caring for the fish during the cruise. She said if this (through in a few choice curse words) FISH died on her watch, she was NOT responsible. The fish barely swam around, and half the time, you had to poke it, to make sure it was still alive.
That fish did not move all week. Frozen, in the center of the bowl. He had to have known that the Crazy Fish Killer, was taking care of him. She was freaked out all week.
She moved in with her boyfriend and they got a fish tank. Looking back now, I should have warned him. She has fish now. And every few weeks, I get a call. " I know the response I'm going to get, but another fish died." I sympathize by by laughing OUT LOUD.
Yesterday my phone rings and it's her. She's at a friend's house. "I just want to let you know another fish died." Silence. I'm choking back the laughter, and finally bust out. She had put me on speaker phone, so that they could hear me laughing hysterically at her. "See, the torture I get from her?!" I laughed and laughed and never apologized for laughing.
I did however make a major note to myself: 'Never, leave kids alone with Auntie for more then a day......'
Yesterday afternoon we went to visit the dog, and we ALL fell in love. We are one of four applicants, so keep you fingers crossed. She LOVED my husband, climbed onto his lap and tucked her little head under his chin and parked herself there.
They're going to make the decision today.
Fingers crossed, Rub a Buddha, Pray, PLEASE do whatever it is you do, that we get this dog.
Conversation with my son:
me: "Riley, do you want the dog to come to our house and live with us?"
Riley: " Yes"
me: "what do you think we should name her?"
Riley: "name him 'dog' ."
me: "Thanks Captain obvious, but we need a name for her. she's a girl."
Riley : "name him 'girl' ."
That went well, Huh?
I'll keep you posted!!
UPDATE: As of 11:10 this morning, we are the proud owners of a Puggle!!
They called and said we are approved and that we can pick her up tomorrow. YAY!!!
He caught his first Sunny. After feeling the fish, playing with the worm and being beyond excited about the whole experience, he watched his little friend swim away. We're all about catch and release. My Dad said he was a riot. I have to say that my kids are lucky to have grandparents reasonably close by that take them to do all kinds of fun things.
On to other things. I have decided that in a few years I am going to take a trip. I'm not an huge adventure seeker. I won't jump out of an airplane (let alone fly without being heavily sedated), I loved Big scary Roller coasters, until everytime I got off one, my brain had been shaken so much, I would get a migraine. (Momo Fali, I do believe your husband has a similiar expereience? ;) )I even had a hard time swimming in the ocean, after I stepped on a fish once. My father said he'd never seen anyone walk ON water like I did. (I watch to much Shark week) But THIS, THIS looks like something I want to do before I die. ( knock on wood, rub a rabbits foot, find a four leaf clover, please people, so I didn't just curse myself.) Here it is:
"The Devil's Swimming Pool In Zimbabwe, Africa, you will find the magnificent Victoria Falls at a height of 128m (419 ft!). The location is known as 'The Devil's Swimming Pool'. During the months of September and December, people can swim as close as possible to the edge of the falls without falling over! These falls are becoming well known amongst the 'radical tourist' industry as more and more people search for the ultimate experience."
Would you dare? I can't wait!! 
I want to say a HUGE THANKS to Meleah for sending me this awesome award. I'm feeling the love! XXOO
The kids don't have school today, so I'm playing Entertainer. Or rather Referee. Why doesn't an 8 year old realize that wrestling with a 2 year old, just doesn't work.
A) He's going to kick and scream and get pissed.
B) When he does get up, that solid right upper cut to the face, doesn't feel so good does it?
And to make it worse, he curses at her. "Damn! Let me go!"
I'm going to go out and by a ref's shirt today, and a whistle. Maybe that will stop them in their tracks....for 30 seconds.
WHEW! My Brain hurt from Thursday night until Saturday morning, and then from Saturday evening til this morning. The constant thump, thump, of my heart beating in my head has stopped. Did you know that a migraine is truly exhausting? I am wiped out today and will most likely do nothing. How's that for an exciting day?
Saturday night we did go over to our neighbors house. My kids were at my parents, and their kids were supposed to have been gone, but the grandparents had to cancel at the last minute. No big deal, we had fun anyway. They are a very funny couple, as are my husband and I . (At least I seem to think so) I married him because he always makes me laugh. Well, I don't think I have ever LAUGHED so hard for so long, in a very long time. The Husband was telling us these stories of him growing up, that had us in tears we were laughing so hard. The kind of laughter that is truly therapeutic. I SNORTED I was laughing so hard!! That's awful! But by the end of the night we all agreed, we really needed that. We left their house and as we walked home, we talked about how rejuvenating a good laugh is.
So my Challenge for all this week is: Find that laughter. Whether it's a story, a funny show, your kids, Whatever, just find it, it will make you feel so good.
Here's a start..I decide that I'm going to use the Tim Taylor of all leaf blowers and clean out the flower beds. We have A LOT OF trees around us. So, my husband warns me, that it is a workout, Your arms get tired. Whatever. It's beautiful out and I want to be outside. He doesn't bother to tell me that there is a technique to the whole "leaf blowing" thing. Nor does he bother to tell me that, since it's a windy day, This will be a complete and total waste of my time.
I get it started, I'm feeling all manly, and I start to blow leaves. (I can see him hiding in the living room window, watching me.) Now, the man next door is fanatical about his lawn, so I start on that side, to clear out the leaves. Since a certain someone failed to tell me that I needed to aim in a certain direction, I started blowing leaves EVERYWHERE. I start to chase them. God forbid, a leaf lands in this man's yard. They're up in the air, all over the yard, still in the flower bed, and all over me. Before I started, they were at least nicely piled in the flower beds, hidden by stones.
I start to blow the rest of the yard toward a huge pile of leaves we waiting to be bagged. After about 15 minutes, I have a inch deep (so we're talk a flat layer of leaves) by 12 inch wide pile of leaves. And the rest of the yard is now COVERED in leaves. I'm trying to blow against the wind and all I'm creating in my own personal tornado of chaos and leaves. I know that the guy next door, my husband and the guy across the street are all watching me, having the LAUGH OF A LIFETIME, at my expense. So much so, that the guy across the street ( who is a riot and has a quick wit about him) wanders over and says, "What you wouldn't let Jay come out to play today?" No, he's inside feeding Riley lunch, and laughing at me.
"Yeah, I was laughing too, so I had to come out and tell ya you're doing a stellar job. If your goal was to cover the lawn in leaves, your really did a fantastic job."
I didn't know that my hands were going to shake for hours either. I was shaking so badly, that I was trying to feed Riley some quick Mac and Cheese later, that I kept trying to put the spoon through his cheek. He finally got pissed and yelled "Mommy messy, I do it!"
Tee Hee, Hee, Hee, guess I got myself out of leaf blowing forever ;)
I'm whining. I have a migraine and I haven't had one in a while. You know, the kind where every time you move you can feel your pulse in your head. God forbid you have to bend down to pick something up, because you head might explode. I really have no right to whine, because a few of my favorite bloggers have it much worse at the moment.
It might have to do with the fact that my son was up at 6:15, because when my husband got up to shower, the cat snuck in, and then was pissed that she was trapped in the bedroom, and started howling at the top of her lungs. Who wouldn't want to wake to that lovely sound? That in turn woke my lovely son, who spent the whole night with his foot lodged in my back. So to recap, Headache=Cranky=Whining. OK, I'll move on now. OH and my son has picked up playing the harmonica....without a headache he just might be talented. With a headache and him playing into a MEGAPHONE, It's like nails on a chalk board. (Note to self: throw both items out.)
Yesterday, I desperately needed to go grocery shopping. BUT since we only have 1 working car right now, I'm stuck in the house. Super genius-Will-never-be-a-Pep-Boy, Husband of mine, tried to change the brakes, and did it in 2 degree weather and snapped off all sorts of important parts. He doesn't really want to put anymore money into the car. Here's why: He gets rear ended about 1 1/2 years ago. Of course, it's when we're about to make the last payment on the car. The car gets fixed. Exactly 30 days after the original accident, he get rear ended again. I vow NEVER to get in that car again. 6 months later, wait for it, He gets rear ended AGAIN! The last time, it was minor enough that we decided, it was just not worth fixing. All was good until Mr.-I-don't-have-the-Midas-Touch "changed" the brakes.
Anyway, back to my dinner. I decide I have the makings of Lentil and Brown Rice stew. Don't gag, you'd be pleasantly surprised. I had no canned tomato products, so I chose to use a nice Chunky garden salsa I had. I added a chopped onion, cumin, chopped cilantro, garlic, S&P and beef stock. I added the lentils and brown rice and let it simmer for about 50 minutes. I warmed some tortillas, and my son proceed to sit and eat 2 bowls of the stuff for lunch. THEN he asked for "soup" for dinner again. I reheat it for dinner and every other member of my family comes in, tastes it and says "EEWW". My husband and my daughter are not big Bean fans, and they both complained that that's what the lentils tasted like. My son and I will be enjoying a lovely Lentil and Brown Rice stew that the restaurant has on the menu for today. If the other to tasteless wonders had actually like it, Little did they know I was going to make Filet Mignon wrapped in bacon, on a bed of the stew. Their loss. I may be a chef, but I do not run a restaurant in the evening. If you do not like what is on the menu. Too bad, you're on your own. I'd be cooking all night if I were to "whip up" a meal for each person. That's my husbands favorite term..."Just whip it up, it's easy for you." Yeah, well, I would have though that fixing a car would have been easy for you.....
Have a Great Weekend!
I don't even know where to begin this story. I guess I'll start with the Origin of "The Game". This is a little long, but worth the read....I think.
My Husband and a good friend of his, who he met when he first made the move from Florida to New Jersey at the age of 20, started this game. Jeff was his name and he was a great guy. He had a brother named James and they were very close in age. Like Irish Twins, close in age. They looked just like the Nelson Twins, except much better looking. (we're talking long blond hair and they were musicians.) Jeff ended up dating My Husband's sister, so they spent a lot of time together, as my husband and his sister were roommates. Eventually Jeff and my SIL broke up, but J (my husband) kept in touch with the brothers.
They started this game....while in the midst of a conversation, (e.g., making plans for what club to go to that nightbut not say the name of the club decided, ) you hang up. Hence leaving the person at the other end confused, or eventually when the game became an on going thing, pissed off. While J and I were dating, I learned all about the game. We got married and both brothers were in our wedding party.
Gradually over the years, they've both gotten married and had children. But "The Game" has stayed the same, with J and Jeff. Months can go by, one will call the other, chat about the families and eventually one beats the other and hangs up first. NOW, you must get the other person completely off guard. For instance, "Hey, I have great news! " CLICK. it has to leave you looking at the phone like "WTF!" and I personally call the person every derogatory name I can think of. My Husband included.
My husband and my sister get along very well, and he got her for the first time soon after we were married. The three of us proceeded to pick it up and use it on each other whenever possible. Eventually My Mom even got me and my sister at least once. I have YET to get my mother.
Now, the point of "The Game" is A) catch the other person totally of guard. B) Don't over use it. It will get annoying. You really have to TRY to get the other person, HARD. For instance, While my sister and I were on the phone once, one of my children did something so hysterical, I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. She asks me what is so funny and I say "Tierney just came out here and." CLICK. Usually I know exactly what she's saying to the dead phone, and when she calls back, she'll repeat it. Along the lines of F%*&ing!! B$#!H!! I hate you! She has gotten me good though. The ever famous, "oh, I forgot to tell you," CLICK.
Last week my Husband calls my sister on his way home from work, and he yells into the phone, "Hey L?!" CLICK. it was one of the best ones of late. Not only that, but he had just gotten me a minute before. He called one after another. Mine was at least mid-conversation.
Last night I'm making dinner and take a quick trip to the bathroom. Now, those of you with children know, that it's not worth closing the door, they're going to come in anyway.(Sorry, TMI) SO I hear the phone ring in the kitchen. J is on the computer in the living room. My daughter grabs the phone, says it's Auntie (my sister L) and J says it's ok to answer it.
Auntie asks T how school is, is it good to see her friends after break, how's your brother etc. T answers all questions politely. Auntie asks "where's Mommy?" T answers, "I have no idea where Mom is, Let me check" CLICK.
I hear the whole thing take place from the bathroom, and my daughter comes running across the house screaming "I GOT AUNTIE, I GOT AUNTIE!!!" I come out of the bathroom stunned. My 8 year old just "got" my 28 year old sister. And I can't even be mad. Because, ALL DAY my daughter tried to get SOMEBODY for April Fool's Day. Well DAMN IT she sure as S%*T DID!!!
I'm choking as I dial my sister, who answers the phone with "That little...." and I stop her mid sentence.
"WAIT! You HAVE to give her credit...it's April Fools Day. This child tried ALL DAY to get someone. She even tried to teach her 2 year old brother to pull a trick. Neither J nor I knew she was going to do it."
Silence. "I looked at the phone and went WTF? My 8 year old NIECE just got me. But, I do give her credit. Today, of all days, was perfect. You have taught her well my sister."
I proceeded to call my parents on three-way and my sister and I told the story, while my parents cried with laughter. They are so proud.
I did make my daughter promise that she will never, ever do it again.....'cause It's out of respect, and an 8 year old can do it once and be the winner of ALL TIME. There will never be a better "move" in "The Game".
