Monday, July 21, 2008

Ice Cream Day and an attempt at payback

Sunday was National Ice Cream Day. So, I decided we would celebrate on the Holiday itself. Every year since I was little, and my Mother was little, we have one day during the summer that you eat nothing but Ice Cream. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, snacks. The above picture shows exactly what you need to survive the day. Lots of ice cream, ice pops and some tequila. That was for me to survive the sugar high that the kids have all day. Chocolate sauce, Caramel, sprinkles, cherries, cones, you name it and we had it. I usually do it on a week day, but my Husband always misses out, so I decided to do on a day when he could participate. And participate he did. I can only eat so much before I something with substance. I bought some sun chips and spinach dip and then made beef satay with peanut sauce to fill bellies, that had nothing but ice cream in them all day. I shaved the beef, marinated it and skewer it. The measuring cup has the peanut sauce in it. YUM!Moving on. I decide to shave the beef with a clever while it was still frozen, to get perfectly shaved slices. I was to lazy to get out my meat slicer. While I was doing this, everyone else was outside relaxing. And Yes, he picked that spot all by himself. We were cracking up. To him, it looked like a little hammock underneath!
Back to my payback. While on vacation in the Outer Banks a few years ago, I had the scare of a lifetime. We rented a huge house, on the beach with a pool, with 3 other families. We all took turns, as couples cooking dinner. This was our night, and we had finished up, and I was taking the garbage out. It had to go to the street, so here I was walking down this 1/4 mile long driveway, pushing a huge garbage can. In the PITCH black. The house was set so far back from the street, you couldn't see a thing. The next thing I know, someone pokes me in the sides (my MOST ticklish spot) and yells AAHHH. I drop the garbage can, scream bloody murder and turn around to swing my fist into my attacker. Who happened to be my husband. Apparently he tip-toed down the driveway, giggling like a little girl, ready to attack. I had been so scared, I instantly burst into tears, called him every name and curse. Then I started really swinging. I was livid. He knows I scare very easily and this had been his perfect opportunity. Fast forward to this year, yesterday.

Here I am shaving beef, while he lays in the hammock. My mind starting racing as I was doing this. I can't stand the sight of blood. I hit the floor immediately, if I do. So I start with ketchup.....
I slathered it all over my hand and the counter. Then I add Maraschino cherry juice.

I wrap my thumb in a paper towel and watch out the window and wait for him to come in. He starts to come into the house and I run for the back door, quietly telling him I need help, and I don't want to scare the kids. I'm holding onto the counter, like I'm getting close to fainting. He doesn't even look at my thumb and What do I get? "Piss poor attempt babe. You're not pale and I would have found you on the floor. That was really sad. You'll never get me back." WTF???!!! DAMN IT!! I tried I really did. Thankfully he doesn't read this, 'cause now it's on.

Something occurred to me. A neighbor of just found out she's pregnant. (Thankfully, she knows him well enough and will think this is Hysterical.) I'm going to go buy a test, ask her to take it and then have it ready when he gets home from work one day this week. I'm not sure if it will scare him, as much as it will give him a heart attack. Either way, I. WIN.

8 comments:

someGirl said...

ha ha ha ha! That'll get him!! There's nothin' like a well played out pregnancy scare to make the weenis retract in fear!!!

The key to really good practical jokes is sticking to things that could only happen to you; it kicks up the believability. I say you make up an official-looking letter from a cake customer saying that one of your cakes made people really sick and she is threatening legal action. Put it in an envelope and mail it to yourself....Oh you could that one strech out for at least a good anxious filled week!!

I had no idea it was national ice cream day!! I always miss out on the REALLY important holidays :(

Momo Fali said...

My BFF jumped out and scared me in the complete dark when we were on our girl's weekend last year. I burst into tears too. I hate being scared. Hate it. I never watch scary movies. Never. I can't even watch crime dramas on TV. My husband preys on this all the time. I don't even get him back for fear of full scale retaliation. I hope the test works!!

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh My god. I love Ice Cream Day. That is such a great idea, how fun!

To bad your husband didn't fall for the bleeding finger move, but I am loving the Fake Pregnancy move. That will be awesome.

I am also LOVING SG's idea about the food poisoning. hehehehe

Practical Jokes Rule.

xxoo

Birdie said...

you.are.brilliant.

chefmom said...

somegirl: THAT is a great idea!! And I have the perfect person to say complained...THE EVENT PLANNER!!! I have a cake this weekend for her and she's complains so much, it would work perfectly! You don't have to celebrate Ice cream Day on the national holiday..it's actually the first time we ever did! LOL!

Momo: I can't watch scary movies either. I then dream them, starring ME! My Husband is constantly getting me. It's about time, I REALLY got him back.

Meleah:I'll get him good, sooner or later. I never do it, so now I have to be really prepared, and do it right, to make it work. Ice cream day rules!!

Birdie: Thanks Mama!! I will get him back, even if it mame's me forever!

The Beginning of the Middle of the End said...

Hey!! You can tell him that you already told me and if he dosn't believe you to call me! I'll back you up! HAHAHAHAHA

chefmom said...

L: OHHH!! THAT'S GOOD!! Why wouldn't my sister know?!

Hannah said...

Hahaha!! You guys are so much fun!