Christmas Chaos and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Aaaahhhhhh...a sigh of relief that Christmas is over. We had a great day. Saturday night we went to my brother-in-laws house and had our "Christmas Eve" with them. We usually do it on the actual Christmas eve, but time was tight, and they go to church, so we opted to do it Saturday. My Son got a very cool toy. Or shall I say My husband got a very cool toy. Here "they" are opening it: I think Riley got to play with it once. It is a remote control Hummer that is huge. And bruised the back of my legs, when I got rammed by it. Spoiled rotten daughter got 2 new speaker hook-ups for her ipod. The iLuv that she can travel with, and paperback booked sized one that has incredible sound....I may have to confiscate that one.....My iRiver can hook up to it!!!

Christmas eve we had a nice quiet night at home waiting for Santa. Look at what he left! Presents, and 2 very excited crumb-snatchers!! The next morning, There's Tierney singing Karaoke with her new Singstar game for the PlayStation. (and yes her room looks like the inside of a pyramid or "tomb" as she calls it. And painted by me and my sis. The day she changes her mind about not wanting to be an Egyptologist, she can repaint the room herself!) And then there's my boy trying to ride his new bike in the kitchen.

After very little sleep, and lots of gift opening, I had to get prepared for the masses to arrive.

The menu consisted of: Crown Roast of pork, with Sausage and apple stuffing with a white wine gravy. Roast beef with Au jus. Orange and ginger glazed carrots, (hence the photo of the lobster shaped ginger that my husband brought home) Broccoli cheddar Au Gratin, creamed pearl onions, Twice baked potato casserole (cubed potatoes, bacon, mozz and cheddar cheeses, sour cream and scallions all baked together into 1 big creamy, heaven on earth dish) Yorkshire pudding, and for dessert Pineapple upside down cake and few dozen assorted cookies that I baked the day before. Since there was going to be a crowd, I decided to keep it simple.

My big exciting gifts were a new Canon powershot, (LOVE IT) and a chocolate fountain (DITTO). so while I was cooking and setting my gorgeous table with all my Spode Christmas tablecloths, napkins, and place settings,was anyone taking pictures? NO!! I have to check and see if my Dad got any shots of my "perfect" table, Or the rest of the day for that matter, since I was in the kitchen from the time everyone arrived until it was time to eat. The guest list was as follows:

Me, Jay, Tierney and Riley

My parents

My sister, her boyfriend, his son and some girl who's staying with them for a short time.

My Aunt Ruthann, Uncle Michael and my 17 yr.old cousin Chris. (who is a 2 time black belt and is now a Sensei). I was most worried about Christmas for them this year. 2 years ago, their older son who had just turned 21 and was home on Christmas break, accidentally hung himself on Christmas. Last year they did not celebrate, instead chose to go to Florida. When I invited them this year, I wasn't sure how it would go. They talk about him now, and it's a lot more relaxed, but being that it was "The Day". I didn't know if having fun would be a reminder or a good distraction. Ends up it was a FANTASTIC day for them. They had a great time and so did we. They are one of my closest relatives, this hit my sister and I hard. Here's how it plays out now: We have basically adopted my cousin as a younger brother. We laugh and always have a great time with him, and we know he appreciates it.

So as I'm winding down to getting dinner on the table, The chef comes out in me, and I start barking out orders to my cousin and my sister. I have him making Yorkshire pudding batter and I have my sister making gravies. I'm barking out or dumping ingredients, into both things at once, while trying to get everything else out at the exact same time, so everything is hot. I keep hearing my favorite words, after every command "Yes Chef!" They are quick learners and we get it all done quickly. Dinner is served, hot, and delicious. I can finally relax!!! We enjoyed ourselves tremendously and I had leftovers for days, thank goodness, because wouldn't you know it I wake up the next morning with an UNBELIEVABLE migraine, that kept me bedridden for 2 days. Hence the delay in posting. That and everyone has been home and up my ass to keep them occupied, even though they all have new toys!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight, we've chosen to stay home and have a quiet evening in. I'm doing a Swiss cheese fondue, with homemade bread crouton, sauteed Kielbasa and then we'll move onto the chocolate fountain and dip bananas, marshmallows, and pretzels. YUM!!

I want to say a huge Thanks to those who do read my blog. I love the interaction between people, the laughs, sad stories, the struggles, etc. Connections and friendships have been made that mean the world to me. I hope you all have a great New Year. XXOO -Chefmom (Kelly)

A Summary of my year on the computer

I'm sure many of you have seen this, but I had a really good laugh!

1) I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
2) Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
3) I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
4) I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000.00 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.
5) I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
6) I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
7) I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
8) Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
9) Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
10) I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
11) I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put, "Under God" on their cans.
12) I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
13) And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life.
14) I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
15) I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
16) I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
17) I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
18) I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan.
19) I no longer have any sneakers - but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
20) I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
21) Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
22) Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.
23) And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
24) Oh, and don't forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
25) If you don't send this email to at least 47,000 people in the next 47 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:47 p.m. this afternoon and the fleas from 47 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's Cousin's beautician.
Have a wonderful day... AND a scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their email with their hand on the mouse.Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. (lol)

Finally!! And don't be too impressed......

Okay, so it's a disasterpiece like they always are. After wine, some cursing, icing that was too runny, my children standing in the kitchen wondering what happened to their mother and Aunt, and my sister deciding to go all Parliment Funkadelic on me, IT. IS. DONE.

Nothing works better then Hot glue......... I'm ready to smash it and we haven't even started
This is really how my sister feel about the activity.
A much needed beverage break....Sorry Meleah, i should have put a straw in it!
This is how I feel about my sister.......

My children wondering what the heck is going on in the kitchen...they were banned.

I will spare you the rest of the "in the process pix".....

I just couldn't get a great pic of the house lit......the cheap dollar store lights aren't very bright:(

ANd lastly, my sister going all Parliment Funkadelic on me.....

Fun times, Fun times.......Merry Christmas to all!

So it's not finished....

Of course it's not done, I will be finishing it over the next day or so...wait for it......with pictures of the burnt lighthouse.

Tonight, we build.

The whole gingerbread tradition started a few years ago, and every year there's always some major mishap. Like my SISTER dropping the roof. Like Using someone Else's pattern, and NONE of the pieces fitting together properly. I've learned a few things though:
1) Hot Glue works much better then icing. (no one is eating it anyway!!) We just cover the glue with icing.
2) Don't let your sister handle the roof.....or any other important parts for that matter.
3) There is no smell in the world Worse then burnt gingerbread. It lingers for days. No amount of pine scented Febreeze is doing the trick.
4) If it takes more then 1 day to build, nobody but me ends up finishing it.
5) If you ever buy me a gingerbread scented candle, I will lose all manners and re-gift it right back to you immediately.

So far, today's baking has gone WAY to smoothly. Except for the top part of the gingerbread lighthouse being slightly burned, but the top is usually black anyway right? I know that disaster awaits us......I wait for the impending arrival of my sister, and her comments about the smell of burnt gingerbread. Let the games begin. I will post pictures tomorrow, because nobody is leaving this house until it is done tonight!!

Tequila!!

Just for fun

I just couldn't resist posting these, when got these from my Mom this evening........

Shopping with Dad
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.
And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response, 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Dear Abby:
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does with his time is smoke cigars, cruise around and impress people with tall tales , while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college I rarely see him, and he even buys in to a rumor that I'm a lesbian. What should I do? Signed: Clueless

Dear Clueless: Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman! You don't need him any more! You're a senator from New York running for President of the United States. Act like one!

Disclaimer: I am in no way partial or impartial to any candidate yet, I just thought this was SO funny!!!