Thursday, February 21, 2008


I have a very hard time putting those two letters together to form a word. I know it and I fully admit it.
Hi, My name is Kelly and I can't say no. This is my addiction....or affliction.
I get a phone call last night from the mother of one of the little girls at the bus stop. I usually only see her in the afternoon, as her daughter gets on the bus at her Grandmother's house in the morning. I've gotten to know her a bit and we're friendly. Friendly. Chatting friendly, not hang out friendly, you know what I mean? Well, she calls last night and is a raving lunatic. I had stupidly given her my phone number, as sometimes she is running late. (Why, I have no idea, since she's done with work around noon) She's going on and on about being pissed off at her mother. Her Mother adopted 2 middle school aged boys and supposedly one of them hurt Kayla (the little girl, who's 6 or 7) that morning, and it was Kayla's fault, according to her mother. So, She was calling me to ask if I could watch her daughter in the morning. Starting at 5:45 am. ???? What am I supposed to say?! She wants to drop her off at 5:45, have me feed her breakfast and then put her on the bus at 9. She says she'll pay me, but being a single Mom, it won't be much, so she says. So basically, I'm getting up 2 hours earlier then I usually do, which is going to wake my 2 year old up, he's going to get off schedule, and then by 8 am, I'll have 4 children to get ready and keep occupied for an hour. What do I say....YES. (If you hear banging, it's my head, on the wall.)
So, this morning I get up at 5:30. I make coffee and sit and wait for her to arrive. 5:45, 6:00, 6:15, show. At 7 the phone rings. "oh I decided to go in a little late, so I'm going to bring her over around 7:45." WTF!!!! My son had already gotten up at about 6:15, because he heard my husbands alarm go off. I crawl back into bed seething with lack of sleep and anger. I had woken up almost every hour during the night, because I was afraid I was going to sleep through the alarm. My regular alarm is in the form of a 2 year old, so I was all out of whack.
Now, I had just agreed to this and sprung it on my husband when he got home. He was NOT happy last night. He doesn't sleep well, and the thought of having a strange child in the house at 5:45 in the morning, didn't go over well.
I get to the bus stop this afternoon with every intention of telling her I can't do this. It's just going to be too disruptive to our morning routine. I completely chicken out. My husband calls after we get home and flips because I didn't say anything. He asks for her phone number. I didn't want him to fight my battle, but this is a woman who I fear a little bit. I've seen her angry. She has a temper. I wanted to avoid it at all costs. He told me I really need to "grow a pair". He calls her and leaves a message. SO, she calls and I have to explain the whole situation anyway. She says "well, we're all adults and you should have said something." I BARELY KNOW YOU LADY!!! So, I'm off the hook, thank goodness, she's going to call Kayla's father and tell him he's going to have to figure something out. And she couldn't have done that from the start, WHY???

So, that's my story. I'm off to get another tattoo. All the rest are hidden. Not this one. Smack dab in the middle of my forehead.


Earlene said...

You are so funny. Most people are not. I like the way you write and tell it just like it is. Do not get a tatoo on your forehead. Get one that only you will see as a reminder to say "NO". We should all have one.

Momo Fali said...

How rude of that woman!! I'm so glad you got out of it!! I've become better at saying no after years of making mistakes like that. I'm getting too old to deal with other people's problems. I have enough of my own. You will feel SO much better the first time you say no. You REALLY will. Then it becomes easier to keep saying it!

chefmom said...

earlene: Welcome! And Thank you. I have decided to forgo the tattoo and just make a sign. I will fold it and keep it in my pocket, so that when I can't get the word out of my mouth, I can just hold up the paper.

momo fali: I know!! It is such a monkey off my back, that I got out of it. I'm not a morning person, so I can't say I'd be very pleasant at 5:45 am. NAd I must have "sucker" or "sap" on my head somewhere that only other people can see!

meleah rebeccah said...

Dood. What is up with that lady? Who the hell has the NERVE to ask a 'stanger' to watch her kids at 545am? A lunatic.

Hopefully you wont have to deal with her anymore.

(hahahahha the tattoo comment is hilarious)

I understand the not being able to say No thing...but once you start saying gets easier, and then, it becomes addictive. hehehehe

chefmom said...

Meleah: I know!! I hardly know here and she's expecting me to watch her children for 3 hours every morning?! I'm off the hook Thankfully. AND THANK GOODNESS I bailed on her yesterday, or I would have had a houseful of kids. There's no school. I would have LOST IT!!! I'm going to have to pick up that addiction....

someGirl said...

I'm SOOO with Mel on this one. THANK JEEBUS you got out of this 'cuz these "types" like to spring up these awkward type of requests/demands on unsuspecting people/strangers knowing that it's so bizarrely sad...thus, you agree. Pat yourself on the back, woman, you just saved yourself a heap of drama—that kid would be LIVING at your house.

Here are some key phrases that will help you say "NO" in the future, without actually having to say it:
-I'm sorry, that would be inappropriate.
-Gee, your in a difficult bind, if I hear about anything that could help you, I'll pass it along. Buh, bye.
-That's not a good idea, I don't know the first thing about ______[fill in rude/absurd request]
...and the ol' stand by, "Are you shiting me?"

AndreAnna said...

I'm really really bad at saying no too and always like to help people. I guess we all have this fear of being mean and not liked, like we all strive to have everyone like us.

meleah rebeccah said...

SG had the perfect advice:

"-Gee, your in a difficult bind, if I hear about anything that could help you, I'll pass it along. Buh, bye."

Oh Hell yeah!