The Event Planner

I am so relieved that this weekend is over. I got the cake baked Friday for the event planner, and decided to wait until Saturday morning to ice it. I had to leave by 9:30, so I got around 7.


First lesson learned: Piping straight lines at 7:30 isn't that easy....





It would have looked so much better in fondant, but that's not what she wanted. Whatever.


I drive the hour it takes me to get to her house. I knock on the door quite a few times, before her husband answers. It's not like they didn't know I was coming!!!! He lets me in and Calls to her to let her know I'm here. I stand there balancing 2 cake boxes for a few minutes, before he realizes he didn't offer to A) help me or B) let me set them down somewhere. The second cake was Flourless chocolate cake for a guest. This is only a 6 inch cake and there's a pound of chocolate in it. I have no idea what the name means.



So I set the cakes down and wait. And wait, and wait. Just standing there, while he's cleaning the house. Twiddling my thumbs. I finally ask if she knows I'm here. He calls her again. After almost 15 minutes, she decides to make an appearance. She sort slinks down the stairs. Well, Thank you, your ROYAL HIGHNESS for allowing me to be in your presence! That's the exact "feeling" I got. I am not some lowly little baker. I have done my time in the kitchen I held the title of Head Pastry chef and Chef de Tournade. Don't get me wrong, I've been out of it for a while, but if I'm going to show you some respect, I expect you to do the same. She's seen my resume. I'm not tooting my own horn, but she could show me a little respect. She's a planner!! Not a doer!! She points her finger and demands!


She introduces me to her husband, who I have just watched sweep the floor for the last 15 minutes, and says "oh, we're old friends, I met her a few times when she delivered the cupcakes and picked up the stand." Um, excuse me? I've never met him before! My sister delivered and
picked it up. I can see some confusion.


I don't wear glasses, Just put these on to show the similarity. I'm 5 years older. Anyway, she looked at the cakes and says "they're so cute." I wasn't thinking "cute" was how I would describe a cake for a 36 year old man. Yes, the piping wasn't perfect, let me see her try it. She looks like the type of woman who: doesn't get dirty, won't chance breaking a nail by doing any type of labor, obviously doesn't clean, her husband does, doesn't cook and really comes across as a beotch.
The next order I get from her, I'm going to DEMAND to speak to the client. I'm laying down the law. Take it leave it. I want signed contracts and I want access to the client so I can ask questions. If she gives me a hard time, then it's bye-bye bitch. I would take dealing with the Mother of a Bride, or a Bridezilla herself rather then deal with this woman.
What's the saying from Dirty Dancing..."nobody puts Baby in a corner." Well nobody makes Kelly wait 15 minutes just to deliver a cake. AND AN HOUR AWAY NO LESS!!!!

I shot the Event planner, but I did not shoot the deputy

AAGGGHHH! A few months ago a friend of mine recommended me to an event planner friend of hers. (or acquittance, they're kids were in the same class). She asked me first and I said sure! How bad could it be to get extra business. BAD. I have yet to met her in person, even though I've done a few things for her. I prefer to deal with the bride, person having the party, etc. because I can get a better feel of what they're looking for, and I can throw out ideas to them, things they might not have thought of. NO. She wants to be the middle woman. Which scares me.
A) I think she's she's charging the client more then what I'm quoting her and therefore, she's making money off of me. Fine, but I can guarantee she not marking up the banquet hall, or the flowers, or caterer.
2) I am VERY afraid that something is going to get lost in translation, communication, e-mail, or any other form she chooses. I will have 50 e-mail exchanges with her and I have to re-iterate EVERYTHING we discuss every time, because she can't remember what was said. I have to save every single piece of information I get from her and repeat it all back in every e-mail, because I'm afraid She'll pin the screw up on me. That would be the end. And she's constantly changing the plans for delivery at the last minute. YOU'RE NOT MY ONLY BUSINESS, LADY!!! You revolve around me, not the other way....I try to be accommodating, but come on!
The cupcake tower with butterflies was for an event she planned and I wanted the stand back. It came back with the fondant bow crushed and it had obviously been left in the sun, as the top to tiers fondant had completely changed color. Tomorrow I am delivering a cake to her house for a party for her husband. She asked my if it could be "wheat free". I asked if she knew that, that meant NO FLOUR. Duh. NO she had no idea. So I'm making a regular cake and a small flourless chocolate cake, which is heaven in itself. Like fudge in the shape of a cake.
So, If I happen to kill Said event planner, Meleah was nice enough to offer to bail me out. The way my day is going with my children, ( just stepped in a blob of playdough and thought it was cat poop. My son wanted dinner at 7:30 this morning. And what pray tell do we want for dinner....pizza) I just may stay for the weekend. Peace and quiet in a rough and tumble sort of way.....

The boy knows what he needs....

My son fell onto a truck this morning, that he got for Easter and crushed it. It was a flimsy plastic monster truck and he landed smack on the center of it.
He asked me to fix and I told him, it really wasn't fixable. He decide he would wait to ask Dad to fix it.
This afternoon he comes to me and says, "I fix truck. Need a screwdriver and a wench."

Someone kick me in the head next time...

Before I ever sign on with another event planner, PLEASE people promise to swiftly kick me. Tell me to meet him or her first, before signing on. That way, when we're in the middle of a project, I'll be prepared for the fact that she's dumb as a stump and the biggest flake I've ever met. How anyone has let this woman plan ANY event is beyond me.....

Explanation tomorrow.....I'm off to make a 3D Golden Labrador. Pix to follow.

3:25-Dog just left......Not bad...eyes are a little creepy. It's tough to do it so small. It only needed to feed 12 people. It's about a foot long.....oohhhh my ESP senses are tingling...Michael C just thought : TWSS!!!!

I'm a survivor

Thank GOODNESS this weekend is over. Somehow, I have survived and today am completely wiped out.
Friday night I had a big "Mom's night out" shopping for Easter stuff with 2 of my friends. Who knew 10 years ago, that going to Target and Walmart on a Friday night WITHOUT children would be considered fun. When the night ends at a bar it does :) We shopped and then hit the local Pub to end the night. Apparently Target doesn't stay open until 12:30, so my husband was a little confused.
Saturday was chaos. I was at the Market the minute it opened. Flew through in record time, I might add. We took the kids to an early morning egg hunt. They had a ball. My 2 year old son proceeded to win the largest and the smallest prize baskets. ( Note to self: Have 2 year old pick winning lottery numbers.) From there I had to rush to finish a cake and then off to a Roller Skating Birthday party. Never mind that I had 20 people coming the next day and I hadn't really done a thing yet. What a FLASHBACK!!! I walked into this Roller Rink and felt my heart beating hard...oh the memories! Holding hands with a boy for the first time, while skating. Sharing Sodas, the games, and the outfits!!! Let me say that the rental skates looked like they were the same ones from when I was younger. Thankfully my daughter has her own and we didn't have to rent a foot fungus. Fun times!!!!
We got home at 2 and I started cooking immediately and did so until about 10. Here was the Easter menu:
Screwdrivers, Bloody Mary's, beer, juices, soda, etc.

Creme Brulee French toast Strata
Brie and Chive Strata
Ham and Cheddar strata
Hash browns "21 club" style
Bacon, hot and mild sausage
Fresh fruit
Roasted Asparagus with lemon and butter sauce

Blueberry cream pie
Cherry cream pie
cupcakes for the kids
Almond essence and vanilla bean shortbread

I went heavy on the strata's, only because I knew the people coming all had different tastes and would either eat sweet or savory. Everything was a hit. I wouldn't really know.....Why is it the chef doesn't really get to eat until everything is ice cold and or gone? I was bummed, but everyone else enjoyed it. I did get to enjoy the liquids portion of the meal though.......And I didn't spend all morning preparing. It really was timing everything right to fit in the oven, and I was only off my estimated time to eat by about 20 minutes.
So Today, I straightened up, battled with my home-on-spring-break-and-bored-to-death-so-go-clean-you-room-8-year-old, and crashed for an afternoon nap with my boy. I am slightly refreshed.
So glad the weekend is over. Now, if I live through this week, it will be a miracle!!!

Can someone replace the batteries in my back....?

I'm not feeling like the energizer bunny today. I'm feeling like Oh-shit-I-have-20-people-coming-in-2-days-and-I-haven't-cleaned-or-shopped. How's that for procrastination?

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, eat lots of good food, and it you need any martini glasses, feel free to ask........

Look at this Stuff

Meleah @ Momma Mia Mea Culpa Tagged me with a "Look at this stuff" Meme. I couldn't wait to do it, this is a fun one!
You have to find five things around your house that say something about the person you are and snap a picture of them. Then tell us about them.

Here we go:

I have a slight obsession with cookbooks. This about 2/3 of my collection, the others are ones I don't use as much, so they're in a Huge Tupperware tub. This also doesn't show the cooking magazine collection. I especially love (see the little stack on the top shelf laying on it's side) OLD cookbooks. I have some from 1915.


These are the 5 cooking utensil I can not live with out. Icing Spatula, Flat Spatula, tongs, cookie scoop with a silicone bottom for pushing out the dough. Nice and precisely sized cookies. And a wooden spoon. All laid out on my Island that I love!



My favorite room in the house. (ok, besides the kitchen) My Bathroom. The combination of the Blue color and the White trim is SO soothing. I found the perfect shower curtain and curtain to match, added a window film (cause I hate mini blinds) and viola! I can lock the door, have a nice relaxing bath, glass of wine and a good book, and I'm beyond content. I'm not really sure how that little person got in the picture. And why it looks like he's about to throw something into the toilet. I better go check...


I love to reupholster furniture. These chairs had an ugly cream textured fabric on them. I added the plaid, that matched in color, the floral valences I made on the kitchen windows and back door. I also love to refinish wood furniture. Sand, Stain, etc. Give me an electric Staple or nail gun and I am one HAPPY woman.


I'm not sure what this last one really says about me.....I guess I like to entertain? Yeah, that's the excuse I'm sticking. I own 30 assorted sets of martini glasses and 42 different types of wine glasses. Seriously though, we had a martini party and I went around and bought all kinds of clearance martini glasses. I can't have my guests drinking from plastic cups. Same thing with the wine glasses. Half of the number are my good Crystal ones, the rest, for everyday use.



So, there you have it. Me in a nutshell. With 72 assorted drinking glasses. As for tagging, it's open to anyone who wants to play!!