Monday, March 31, 2008

The Event Planner

I am so relieved that this weekend is over. I got the cake baked Friday for the event planner, and decided to wait until Saturday morning to ice it. I had to leave by 9:30, so I got around 7.

First lesson learned: Piping straight lines at 7:30 isn't that easy....

It would have looked so much better in fondant, but that's not what she wanted. Whatever.

I drive the hour it takes me to get to her house. I knock on the door quite a few times, before her husband answers. It's not like they didn't know I was coming!!!! He lets me in and Calls to her to let her know I'm here. I stand there balancing 2 cake boxes for a few minutes, before he realizes he didn't offer to A) help me or B) let me set them down somewhere. The second cake was Flourless chocolate cake for a guest. This is only a 6 inch cake and there's a pound of chocolate in it. I have no idea what the name means.

So I set the cakes down and wait. And wait, and wait. Just standing there, while he's cleaning the house. Twiddling my thumbs. I finally ask if she knows I'm here. He calls her again. After almost 15 minutes, she decides to make an appearance. She sort slinks down the stairs. Well, Thank you, your ROYAL HIGHNESS for allowing me to be in your presence! That's the exact "feeling" I got. I am not some lowly little baker. I have done my time in the kitchen I held the title of Head Pastry chef and Chef de Tournade. Don't get me wrong, I've been out of it for a while, but if I'm going to show you some respect, I expect you to do the same. She's seen my resume. I'm not tooting my own horn, but she could show me a little respect. She's a planner!! Not a doer!! She points her finger and demands!

She introduces me to her husband, who I have just watched sweep the floor for the last 15 minutes, and says "oh, we're old friends, I met her a few times when she delivered the cupcakes and picked up the stand." Um, excuse me? I've never met him before! My sister delivered and
picked it up. I can see some confusion.

I don't wear glasses, Just put these on to show the similarity. I'm 5 years older. Anyway, she looked at the cakes and says "they're so cute." I wasn't thinking "cute" was how I would describe a cake for a 36 year old man. Yes, the piping wasn't perfect, let me see her try it. She looks like the type of woman who: doesn't get dirty, won't chance breaking a nail by doing any type of labor, obviously doesn't clean, her husband does, doesn't cook and really comes across as a beotch.
The next order I get from her, I'm going to DEMAND to speak to the client. I'm laying down the law. Take it leave it. I want signed contracts and I want access to the client so I can ask questions. If she gives me a hard time, then it's bye-bye bitch. I would take dealing with the Mother of a Bride, or a Bridezilla herself rather then deal with this woman.
What's the saying from Dirty Dancing..."nobody puts Baby in a corner." Well nobody makes Kelly wait 15 minutes just to deliver a cake. AND AN HOUR AWAY NO LESS!!!!


AndreAnna said...

That picture of you with your sister is uncanny! You could seriously be twins!

chefmom said...

Andreanna: We get that all the time. We've had people ARGUE with us (when our hair was the same color) that we were just kidding about being 5 years apart. And we sound EXACTLY the same. My son was even confused on the phone one day! We used to play tricks on our friends when they'd call!

Michael C said...

Working with this lady again is definitely a fondon't. Use, I know that jokes works better with fondue, instead of fondant, but it's all I could come up with.

1. the jersey cake (as in shirt, not the state in which you reside) is AWESOME.

2. Twins 5 years apart? Miracles can happen!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, girl. I don't blame you, putting up with a crazy bride-to-be would *have* to be better than putting up with that witch!

And, that picture? Wow. You two look so much alike! :)

chefmom said...

Michael c: HAH Fondon't worked pretty well!! Thanks, I thought it came out pretty cool, except for a few squiggly lines.

beautyishere: She is nuts, I'm convinced. And we sure do look alike! I like to say I'm the younger one though....

Angela said...

LOL I loved this post and your cakes were abosultely stunning, piping and all.
Hey, if you ever find out what the name on that lucious cake means, let us know. LOL
PS-- The picture is priceless:)

chefmom said...

angela: Thanks! I though it was very weird to put "honeylovey" on a cake for his cousin...not sure what it means. I have another pic. I'm trying to find of my sister and I in almost the same outfit, curly hair down, in the same style, and we just happened to be sitting in the exact same position. It's uncanny!

meleah rebeccah said...

I hate the event planner as much as you do. What an asshat.

But you really do look just like your sister. For real.

LOL @ michael c's "fondon't" hahahahaha (hes sooo damn funny)

And the piping was fabulous.

chefmom said...

Meleah: OH it's so good to have you back!!! Yes, she does look just like me! Michael c is so dman funny, especially in his post today. Thanks, on the piping was a little to early for me!

AskAngela said...

I for got to tell you, I went to your cake website!! Awesome job!! Awesome cakes:) from an Awesome Mommie Chef:)

Many Blessing's

chefmom said...

askangela: Thanks!

Cass said...

I was a restaurant manager for about a year in Westchester. I actually banned an event planners from ever throwing a party at the restaurant again. I've never actually considered how much a hit would cost until working with her.

chefmom said...

Cass: I would ban them too! I'd imagine, she's worse then a bride at a wedding! I pay for a hit!! HAHA!!

chefmom said...

Does my gravatar work?