Big plans

Today I will be baking. And baking. AND baking. Nothing like waiting till the last minute for all the orders tomorrow. I am the worst procrastinator, and yesterday we spent the day on the lake with friends, in canoes and a catamaran. (Which ultimately flipped) WAY to much fun to walk away from to bake. A Bikini, Elmo and a penguin for today. Oh and one is for THE EVENT PLANNER. We'll see if she lives through this cake order......
Have a GREAT weekend!

Good Old Crayola

Dear Crayola,
My son discovered a new color yesterday and I would like to see it in the upcoming boxes, for the new school year. You people seem to think it looks like "Macaroni and cheese". When I asked my son what color it was his reply made much more sense. "O'de lellow" Apparently when you cross yellow and orange you get that color. Not "Macaroni and Cheese" "Apricot", or the other 400 names you have for the same color.
Please remedy this situation immediately, so that I don't have to tell him he's wrong, and his school won't think he doesn't know his colors. 'Cause he does.....and better then you people it seems.
Regards,
Mrs. Kelly Green
P.S. Could ya fix that crayon too? I'd like the 'Mrs.' added please.

Ice Cream Day and an attempt at payback

Sunday was National Ice Cream Day. So, I decided we would celebrate on the Holiday itself. Every year since I was little, and my Mother was little, we have one day during the summer that you eat nothing but Ice Cream. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, snacks. The above picture shows exactly what you need to survive the day. Lots of ice cream, ice pops and some tequila. That was for me to survive the sugar high that the kids have all day. Chocolate sauce, Caramel, sprinkles, cherries, cones, you name it and we had it. I usually do it on a week day, but my Husband always misses out, so I decided to do on a day when he could participate. And participate he did. I can only eat so much before I something with substance. I bought some sun chips and spinach dip and then made beef satay with peanut sauce to fill bellies, that had nothing but ice cream in them all day. I shaved the beef, marinated it and skewer it. The measuring cup has the peanut sauce in it. YUM!Moving on. I decide to shave the beef with a clever while it was still frozen, to get perfectly shaved slices. I was to lazy to get out my meat slicer. While I was doing this, everyone else was outside relaxing. And Yes, he picked that spot all by himself. We were cracking up. To him, it looked like a little hammock underneath!
Back to my payback. While on vacation in the Outer Banks a few years ago, I had the scare of a lifetime. We rented a huge house, on the beach with a pool, with 3 other families. We all took turns, as couples cooking dinner. This was our night, and we had finished up, and I was taking the garbage out. It had to go to the street, so here I was walking down this 1/4 mile long driveway, pushing a huge garbage can. In the PITCH black. The house was set so far back from the street, you couldn't see a thing. The next thing I know, someone pokes me in the sides (my MOST ticklish spot) and yells AAHHH. I drop the garbage can, scream bloody murder and turn around to swing my fist into my attacker. Who happened to be my husband. Apparently he tip-toed down the driveway, giggling like a little girl, ready to attack. I had been so scared, I instantly burst into tears, called him every name and curse. Then I started really swinging. I was livid. He knows I scare very easily and this had been his perfect opportunity. Fast forward to this year, yesterday.

Here I am shaving beef, while he lays in the hammock. My mind starting racing as I was doing this. I can't stand the sight of blood. I hit the floor immediately, if I do. So I start with ketchup.....
I slathered it all over my hand and the counter. Then I add Maraschino cherry juice.

I wrap my thumb in a paper towel and watch out the window and wait for him to come in. He starts to come into the house and I run for the back door, quietly telling him I need help, and I don't want to scare the kids. I'm holding onto the counter, like I'm getting close to fainting. He doesn't even look at my thumb and What do I get? "Piss poor attempt babe. You're not pale and I would have found you on the floor. That was really sad. You'll never get me back." WTF???!!! DAMN IT!! I tried I really did. Thankfully he doesn't read this, 'cause now it's on.

Something occurred to me. A neighbor of just found out she's pregnant. (Thankfully, she knows him well enough and will think this is Hysterical.) I'm going to go buy a test, ask her to take it and then have it ready when he gets home from work one day this week. I'm not sure if it will scare him, as much as it will give him a heart attack. Either way, I. WIN.

In a nutshell.... a coconut sized nutshell

This story begins with the fact that this was the first time in 20 years that all 5 siblings and their mother were in the same place at once. My Husband was so excited, as were the rest of the family. A few pix to show. All 5 and Mom together!! The one that belongs to me is far left.

I survived the plane ride very nicely. No vodka, but with the assistance of xanax. I put on my tunes, closed my eyes and ended up sleeping for a bit until my brother-in-law and husband woke me by poking me in the side. I opened my eyes and they were both to inches from my face with gum sticking out of their mouths. Lovely. Great week, except my poor Mother-in-law did not get the C.O. to her newly built house until the day after we arrived. And we were staying there.....

Bar by the pool at M-I-L's house. B-i-l from Va, Hubby, B-I-L, B-I-L, (they're married partners) S-I-L and her BF. (possibly soon to be husband. I love him.)

Very cool Sailfish carving made from tree roots at M-I-L's house.

The wedding....WOW. Most unorganized event I have ever been to. What makes it worse is that the bride is the GM of a hotel. There were people in the wedding party, that didn't even know they were until the rehearsal dinner at my Mother-in-laws, the night before. AND if you were in the bridal party, you had to wear all white. It was on the beach, with a black and theme. The bride and groom wore black and everyone else wore white. ALL 20 PEOPLE IN THE WEDDING PARTY!!! It was obscene. Not enough limos, so people had to take other transportation, and with that being the case, loss of communication. After the wedding, the bride said to head back to the hotel. Those of us in other cars did just that. We received a very nasty call (from the bride)when we were almost back to the hotel asking where the hell we were. Hhmmm, going where you told us to?! Apparently she had decided on the way back that they were going to some far off place to have pix taken. We had 3 of 5 siblings of the groom in our car, so we were holding up the pictures. We got lost and when we did arrive she screamed across the beach, "it's about time, Hurry up!!!!" My wonderful husband and his brother flipped her the bird. This was the first time we were meeting out new sister-in-law and let me say, that I have no desire to ever see her again. Thank Jeebus they live in Florida. Oh and they met on Match.com 6 months ago and she's 2 months preggo. He's 44 and she's 38. Any bets on how long this lasts????

The wedding party, including my in-laws, but the mother of the bride didn't get the message to come to this far off land....sad to say, she's in hardly any pictures. ORGANIZATION would have been helpful.Me, my Husband and my 'FRO. It was so windy my curls just exploded and unless I kept myself facing into the wind, I couldn't see a thing.

The reception was only a 3 hour cocktail and hors de oeuvres party, from 7-10. We didn't get back to the hotel until 8:30. The rest of the wedding party didn't arrive for another 1/2 hour!! People had left, they were so annoyed. There were no hot hors de oeuvres being past until the bride and groom showed and everything else sucked. Other then the wedding itself, it was an awesome weekend. I don't think I have laughed so hard in so long. There is WAY more to this story, but it's just too much to tell! I will post an album, because I got lots of great pix.

3 of 4 brothers.
My S-I-L looking, oh so hot! Unfortunately, this was for the rehearsal dinner, and it was too dressy, so she changed. She looked so good! I miss her dearly, she moved to AZ.

4 out of 5 siblings. We arrived on M-I-L's 65Th B-day, so the next night she got us clams and all 2 lb. lobsters. YUM! S-I-L and BF and a friend of my Husbands, since childhood, enjoying lobsters!

This past week, I took over a friends daycare while she was on vacation and I had a 14 month, 2, 5,7, and 8 year old, for the week. They were all pretty good kids, but I was exhausted from partying for 5 days and not going to bed til 2 am! I literally landed Sunday night and they all arrived Monday morning. Whirlwind week.

Today the kids and I made Jam and pie from the 12 lbs. of blueberries we picked this weekend. Trying to finally relax and unwind.

Oh and this conversation took place:

Me: "T, I really am getting so tired of your....(pause)"

2 year old laying on the floor, playing: " AT-TI-TUDE."

I guess I can add that to the list of things I say WAY to often.

Happy 4th of July!!

Well peeps, I'm off in a few hours to spend the night at my brother-in-laws and then fly to Florida tomorrow morning.
Everyone is packed but me. I am taking 3 pairs of shoes for 1 cocktail dress, since my husband is fashionably useless, and couldn't tell me which one looked best.
Have a Fantastic 4th and I'll have plently to post on onday the 7th!

Dear Vodka Fairy.....

Dear Vodka Fairy,
Please, PLEASE allow me to get on a plane next week and NOT freak out. Drown me if you have to before I get on the plane.
Yours dearly, sincerely, desperately and ready with a straw,
Kelly


I used to love to fly. Past tense. USED TO. I flew 2 months after 9/11 and basically had a panic attack. My brother-in-law fed me xanax before the flight, but I was still sweating like a pig and shaking like the vodka fairy died and left me with the Dt's. We were allowed to board the plane early, because I had my daughter with us, who was only 3 at the time. I watched the rest of the passengers board and as each individual past by, these were the conversations in my head:
"Terrorist."
"Terrorists wife"
"Very old Terrorist"
"Has a bomb strapped to him."
"Terrorist."
"Possibly the Federal agent, or a very built terrorist who will take the whole plane down himself."
Ect., Ect.
We are flying to Florida for Jay's oldest brothers wedding on Saturday July 5th. We're flying in on the 2nd, because it's his Mom's B-day. This time, I will be heavily sedated. Tuesday afternoon the kids and I will be going to my parents. My husband will then come pick me up and the kids are going to stay with my parents for the rest of the week. That will be major break down #1. Saying good-bye to them will be so hard. I haven't left both of them for more then a night or 2. NOT 5 days! Then Jay and I will drive up to his brothers in Chester NJ and spend the night. We fly out of Newark at 8:45 and land in West Palm Beach Florida at 11:45. Most likely (or hopefully) I will just put on my iriver and close my eyes, envision me and the vodka fairy splashing in a fountain of vodka and not open my eyes or speak to anyone for the rest of the flight. I am sure that my husband will be doing the same thing!!!
Once we land, we'll wait for His sister and her BF to fly in from Arizona and his Brother from VA, all to land. (magically all within an hour of us!) We had hoped to get a nice mini-van, but ended up with Ford Econo-line van. For the wedding the siblings all have to wear white. We've decided that they're all going to look like the Jones clan, ready to drink the suicidal Kool-aid, as the cult has kicked them out. Or they're going to had out flowers to people. I on the other had got a gorgeous turquoise and brown cocktail dress to wear. It's on the beach and should be gorgeous! It will be a FUN week of partying. This is the first time in 20 years that all 5 siblings will be in the same place at one time. Jay's Mom is besides herself with excitement. She and I get along great. She's an awesome cook and just had a new house built, with an amazing kitchen, so I can't wait to get there and do some cooking with her.
Any who, the flight home will most likely have me in an exhausted/panicked stupor, but still partying to the vodka fairy. I am sure to have LOTS of good blog material after this trip!
Pray to the fairy, god, buddha, mother nature, the clouds, the pilot, and anyone else that might possibly prevent me from freaking out, that I survive the flight. And when I say survive, I mean land peacefully and quietly. Not hear about me on the news, 'cause they had to detour and kick me off. Good times......

I am so behind

Last week, In a nutshell:
1)Binky fairy came and left a tonka truck and bulldozer, all is well he has only asked for it once. I pulled up pictures of babies with binkies on photobucket and showed him that a new baby had gotten his. He was happy with that. Yay!

2) Decided it was time for potty training. MASTERED IT in a week. I thought boys would be so much harder to train, but he's done so well, that he's even sleeping in underwear at night and has not had an accident. He has a favorite tree to pee on and has even Christened the dog when she walk in front of him, while he was going. I have never seen my child laugh so hard. Double YAY!

3) Figured since we were Making Major progress, we'd push for him to sleep in his own bed. (yes he still slept between us. Bad habit.) Success so far. He sneaks in, in the very early morning, but I'd rather have that then a foot in my face all night. Triple Yay, because now I feel like an adult again and can sleep ALONE with my husband. Lovely.

4) School ended Thursday and Tierney earned the Academic Achievement award all for marking periods again, so she got a special award. That now make 2 years straight that she's gotten the honor roll every marking period. So Proud! And I was appointed PTO secretary again, this time under a much better president.

5) Now the drama and and boredom begin. Tierney's Bf Ali left for Florida for 3 weeks today. Thankfully I will be on FL From July 2 to the 6th, so My parents will keep them busy with fun activities during that time. AND we still only have 1 running car. SO that leaves me trapped in the house with 2 kids. You can only do the same small park and fishing for so long. This will be a test of survival.
In my Survival kit are these items: Neosporin, band aids, wipes, a bottle of vodka and a bottle of xanax. I don't know about the kids, but that should cover my first aid needs well.